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Again, when we heard 30 days of night, we assumed it was a prequel to 40 days and 40 nights. Funny because Josh Hartnett stars in both... a coincidence? But we should have let them be Things we lost in the fire. Or things that are Into the Wild. Well thats enough of are stupid PUNS... ENJOY THE SHOW!

The triplets of bevelle: 30 Days of Natalie, Dannys we lost in the fire. and Into the Mike.

Next Movie Menu Podcast: Coming Soon!

 

We had first assumed The Heartbreak Kid was a sequel to 2001's Heartbreakers with Jennifer Love Hewitt and Sigourney Weaver, but to our surprise it was another Farrelly Brothers movie with Ben Stiller and some girl who looks like Cameron Diaz. Though the movie could have used some Zombies in it like Resident Evil or even a musical number like across the universe. Either way when you combine rat feces and mummified beer you can never go wrong. Just listen and take our word for it

The triangle of Love: Heartbreaker Mike, Natalie Evil: Extinction, Across the Dannyverse.

Next Movie Menu Podcast: 30 days of Night and Things we Lost in the Fire

 

Happy Labor Day folks! Wait... or is it Halloween already? Well we have some tricks and treats instored for you. Halloween is the new christmas, the time for family. So Merry Hallo- (Chops head off) Damn that HURT! Really got my balls of fury going... I hope they give Michael Myers the Death Sentence. Say hello to Kevin Bacon for me!

The Superfriends: Mike Myers, Danny Bacon and Balls of Z.

Next Movie Menu Podcast: Coming Soon

 

Stardust is a movie about an ugly Michelle Pfieffer and a gay Robert De Niro...interesting... because Rush Hour 3 is about an ugly Jackie Chan and a gay Chris Tucker. Aren't movies original anymore? At least we have Jane Austin to go to for originality, though if you're a guy and saw it, you're probably ugly or gay. Though theres nothing ugly or gay in the Bourne Ultimatum.....? Unless you count MATT DAMOOOOOON!!!! So yeah listen in to our Ugliest and Gayest episode to date (nah we've gone gayer lol)

The Trio of Doom: Johnny Bourne, Danny Chan and Becoming Mike Stand.

Next Movie Menu Podcast will be Sept 3rd: Death Sentence, Halloween, & Balls of Fury

 

RELEASE DATE: July 18, 2008 (subject to change)

STORY:Sequel To "Batman Begins" Bruce Wayne/Batman (Christian Bale) is cleaning up the mean streets of Gotham with the help of Lieutenant Jim Gordan (Gary Oldman) and D.A. Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart). However, when a new villian called The Joker (Heith Ledger) threatens the streets of Gotham, Batman must rise to defeat his greatest foe.

DIRECTED BY: Christopher Nolan

Moviiiiieeeeee Menuuuuuu!!!! (insert $275,000 Danny Elfman theme song). Podcasting live from Springfield, CA- Movie Menu proves we're as American as Apple Pie... unlike those Korean animators working on The Simpsons. Hey Korea! We're not REALLY yellow! You know what else is American? Underage kids trying to buy beer and nail hot underage chicks. BANG BANG! That's why we wore our favorite American underwear and watched Superbad. But you have to excuse us, we might have been in Zombie mode.

The Fab Four: Phillip A. Romero, Danny Quimby, Michael Cera Jr., and John Groening

Next Movie Menu Podcast:Rush Hour 3 and Stardust

 

Who would win in a fight between Optimus Prime and Harry Potter. Prime has his robot powers, but Harry has his wizardry magic.Tough call, well if they are in America , they can live free or die hard because of health insurance in America due to all these sickos who charge an arm, a leg, and a mighty heart in order for them to feast on. Setting all these puns aside, enjoy the episode.

Autobots and Hogsworth team: Bumble Dan, Megamike, Johnny Potter, and Special Guest: Letty Lestrange

Next Movie Menu Podcast:The Simpsons Movie and Superbad

 

Summer blockbusters are here! Whether its a sleeper indie comedy hit, superhero action pack sequel, scary ghost movie, or family film w/ christian overtones, MOVIE MENU is there and ready to review! Maybe by reviewing these four movies in the same show, Movie Menu will reach blockbuster status... but w/ our luck, the closest thing we'll see to blockbuster status is joining blockbuster video membership...lame! Well we have the reunion of the TRIO plus a special guest, so enjoy the show!

Holly-Weird Epilogue: John Almighty, Mike Cussak, Silver Danny, and Special Guest: Knocked Up Thad

Next Movie Menu Podcast:Transformers

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For the low low low price of $19.95, you can buy a tub of popcorn and one admission to see Shrek the Third! Now in amazing Cinescope Panavision Dolby-Digital mono sound. Now who ever said Movie Menu doesn't pull out all the stops to help fight the disease of mediocrity in theaters? I wonder how many revisions on Wikipedia will the future hold for us? How we nearly destroyed the talents of Jeff Goldblum and MTV VJ Simon Rex; corn was really having the Best Year Ever!; Rosie O'Donnell was a mutant cyborg from the future; and how little we did to anticipate that the lack of voter turnout in 2008 would result in the election of Janet Reno as our new President. ::shivers:: So America!!! Do us a favor and download this podcast about the weirdest trio of friends...well...since Movie Menu. ..and DON"T FORGET TO PASS THE VELVEETA CHEESE.

Holly-Weird Epilogue: Artist formerly known as Felix, Michael Hood-Prince of Leaves, and Prince John Elkington of Mandarin Oranges

Next Movie Menu Podcast:Knocked Up

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Your favorite neighborhood Spiderman is back for another installment. Once again, every villain attempts to ruin Peter Parker's game and prevent him from getting any poonanny! Yeah, that would kill him. This time around, Spiderman "poof poof passes" on Mary Jane and has his sight on Gwen Stacy while battling: a rock from outer space, guy made of sand, and the human heart- "I can't quit you Spiderman!!!" So enjoy another episode of the Movie Menu podcast as we critique the transformation of a superhero who turns into the lead singer of My Chemical Romance. Pass the masquera!

Daily Globe: Chris Raimi, Michael Campbell, and John Jay Jameson

Next Movie Menu Podcast:Shrek 3

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RELEASE DATE: August 3rd, 2007

STORY:Self-proclaimed stuntman Rod Kimble(Andy Samberg) is preparing for the jump of a lifetime. Rod plans to clear fifteen buses in an attempt to raise money for his abusive stepfather Frank's life-saving heart operation. He'll land the jump, get Frank better, and then fight him, hard.

DIRECTED BY: Akiva Schaffer

The Lonely Island: below is a brief introduction to the guys behind the movie, and trust me! Everything from them is AWESOME!

 

A box of fries named Frylock, milk shake named Master Shake, and a morphing meatball called Meatwad....sounds like someone used a little too much tobacco with their hookah. Stoners around the globe rejoiced and conjugated around large movie screens to watch out fearsome heroes learn the origin of their powers! So it's kind of like that TV show Heroes...except they're not saving the world or a barely legal cheerleader, instead it's a balding, middle-aged New Jersey resident who sports sexy wife-beaters and elastic pants. If only Albert Einstein or Richard Nixon were alive to see this. FEEL THE WRATH OF MY LASER.. MORTAL HUMANS!!!!

Happy Meal: Christopher Nuggets, Michael Malt Shake, and John Hasselhoff

Next Movie Menu Podcast:Spiderman 3

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RELEASE DATE: June 22nd, 2007(U.S.)

 

DIRECTOR: Jonathan King

STORY: An experiment in genetic engineering goes horribly wrong when it turns harmless sheep into blood-thirsty killers that terrorize a sprawling New Zealand farm.

 

Sex...woo hooo! Violence....ooo yea baby! Barbeque...how did you know I love meat? and feet...okay, well I don't have a foot fetish like Quentin Tarantino, but "thanks"?!?! Rose McGowan and a peg-leg...excuse me as I release my man juice in the bathroom...double feature! double the wood!!! Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino were responisble for my erection, I hope this will be the only time this will ever happen...so enjoy another episode from Movie Menu, after we visited the bathroom...in different stalls of course...and tissues lubricated with extra virgin olive oil. BAM!

Z's Corner: Mikey Darling, Stunt Man Dan, and El John Rey Theater

Next Movie Menu Podcast:Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters

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RELEASE DATE: June 29th, 2007

STORY:A young rat living in the walls of a famous bistro wishes to become a chef, but is hindered by his family's skepticism and the rat-deprising staff and patrons.

DIRECTED BY: Brad Bird

Four turtles and a giant rat…and you thought your family was strange. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles returned to the big screen this week and proved a ninja’s killing ability does have a down-side: every person they’ve killed is one less person watching a ninja movie. How stoned was TMNT creator Peter Laird when he thought of this idea, and can you imagine what his bosses might have thought, “so not only do you wanting ninja turtles but you want to name them after famous Renaissance artist?” Word of advice: mixing your prescribed medication with your “medication”, could make you the richest stoner to ever step foot on your own private island. “Pass the cheetos!”

The Foot-Clan: Michael-San, Emperor Daniel Mu, and John-ika Kurosawa

Next Movie Menu Podcast: Grindhouse

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Pre-Production
So this weekend there were a few contenders for the pick of the week. There was Reign Over Me, Shooter, and The Hills Has Eyes 2. However, when we heard Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was being released, we were gitty like little school girls. We grew up watching TMNT, and it was my first look into the world of the ninja’s and samurai’s as a kid. This being a CGI continuation of the live action movies, it seemed to be an interesting addition to the collection.

Day of Podcast
I’ve been working on a project, so time was an issue when recording the show. Mike and I saw it the morning of, while John saw it the night before. We only had 3 hours to record the banter, which seemed impossible because usually our days of recording take up an entire day. Though, Mike took it upon himself to work on the intro on his own, so we can just focus on the banter. This was the best idea because we finished recording within an hour. Another great news was that Mike got the new mixer to work, so we were able to record our show with better equipment.

Post Production
Mike and John edited the show this week. John edited the banter down, while Mike worked on the intro. The idea for the intro came from Mike, and basically it is a theme song that goes perfect for this episode. You just might be surprised, but if you love the original show, then you’ll love this theme too.

Hey it’s the first week of Spring! What that means for you: time to let some light into your house/room, get some cleaning done, and start working on that physic cause summer is just around the corner and you don’t want to be that kid with the over-sized Mickey Mouse floating device around your waist. “I’m sorry sir, but the AMC theaters of America prohibit any assortment of floaties…” At what age does the floaties around the arms seem lame? A little kid can get-away with it, but can a young adult with a fear of the water since watching Species. Not that I would know that individual fearing a sexy Russian femme-bot is going to force herself onto me so she could produce an offspring. No…clue…ummm…who that…(clears throat) would be. How about we get back to Movie Menu: Entertainment News

March 16-22nd Edition
• March of the Germans: United Artist Entertainment and Bryan Singer (Usual Suspects, X-Men 1+2, Superman Returns) are scheduled to work on an untitled thriller based on an attempt to assassinate Adolf Hitler. Who is to star you ask? Tom Cruise. The same man who purchased the film for United Artist. Anyone else get the vibe Tom Cruise is trying to give the finger to everyone and show he doesn’t need Mission Impossible? I just can’t wait to see who will play Adolf Hitler because I have strange suspicion it is going to be Katie Holmes…you know, because she has RANGE. (Yahoo!)
• The Green Hornet: Columbia Pictures has picked up where Kevin Smith has left off and acquired the rights to make the long-awaited Green Hornet film. The Green Hornet was a Newspaper Publisher by day, and masked hero at night, so a totally-unique premise of a superhero living a life in the media and saving the world at night. (Monsters & Critics)
• Harry will not Pot-Her : Emma Watson is pretty much done playing Hermione and has rejected an offer to continue her role in the Harry Potter series, leaving a void in her character for the last 2 installments. “Hurry! Someone get Dakota Fanning on the phone!” Citing her desire to branch out and not be type-casted, the young…(drool)…hottie…will..now… I’m sorry! All this talk of Emma Watson has me all hot and bothered. I need to use the restroom!! (Cinema Blend)
• Cate Blanchett : Harrison Ford now has a love interest in Cate Blanchett for Indiana Jones IV: The Curse of Arthritis. Wait, apparently that titled has not been confirmed, but Movie Menu is giving you the scoop! Just don’t tell anyone because I don’t need to see George Lucas in court…again. The David Koepp script for Indiana Jones IV has been closely guarded so no word on what the relationship will stem from, but I imagine a special blue pill that starts with the letter V and ends with: iagra will play a major role in the film. (The Hollywood Reporter)

 

RELEASE DATE: July 11th, 2007

 

DIRECTOR: Timur Bekmambetov

 

 

STORY: The Russian’s answer to the Matrix trilogy, this is the sequel to Night Watch. A man serving in the battle between Light and Dark comes into the possession of a device that can restore life to Moscow.

 

Frank Miller must sleep with silk sheets on a gold bed-frame because there is no one in Hollywood that doesn’t want to participate in one of his movie. But how many people are willing to sleep with the comic book king? Whatever it takes, you can bet on seeing Movie Menu with their heads chopped off while battling Crispin Glover’s chainsaw. Maybe Frank Miller can write a comic book based on Movie Menu saving the world from a giant lizard with octopus legs named Ketchup…or Catsup, whichever tickles your pickle. Onions to this idea! Add it up with a slab of ground beef, lettuce, and sesame seed buns and you have a hamburger! Wait…what were we talking about again?

Panelist: Mike Mithodonos, King Daniel of New Guinea, and John Antonio Leonardo

 

Next Movie Menu Podcast: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

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Planning the Podcast

After watching horrible and so so films, we decided to treat ourselves to watching Frank Miller’s 300. We knew this was the movie to podcast because the style it was made and the creativity of the artwork that went into making this movie looked phenomenal. Also, with the success of Sin City, another Frank Miller film adaptation, the anticipation of this film stretched across the world. So of course Movie Menu was there!

Day of Podcast

After a few scheduling problems, (mainly on my part because of work), we finally met up to record the show. However, discussion was created over the fact that one of us didn’t particularly enjoy the movie. The name will remain nameless until you listen to the show; however, it raised some questions. So we recorded the banter, of course checking out the levels prior to the recording, that way everyone is evened out and not fighting to talk over one another, even though it still happens. However, the first recording wasn’t enough. It seemed like something was missing, so we ended up scraping the first recording and doing another one. Then we figured what was missing, the gross comedic jokes that Movie Menu is famous for!

Post Production

So we had three ideas for an intro. However, we couldn’t think of a correct way to execute them. The first idea was of someone yelling “PODCASTERS! TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!” And then cuts to us actually eating in hell with the Devil. However, so many ideas were tossed and different variations were created, that we shifted ideas to us actually dining either at norms, to heaven, then us just burning. Then someone, I say someone because I can’t remember who it was, and I know it was me, came up with doing a Richard Simmons Parody of Sparta Work out Video, but didn’t translate too well with audio. So we scrapped the whole Intro Idea. Figured the show was strong enough that it really didn’t need one, since the first 5 minutes aren’t really about the movie, we thought that it would speak for itself. SO ENJOY!

 

Jim Carrey tries to resurrect his career by replacing Aston Kutcher as �everyone�s favorite scruffy amateur detective� in this week�s new release The Number 23. The guy can obviously do comedy�if comedy was a blonde bombshell with a double D rack named Jenny McCarthy! We all knew how hot chicks liked guys with a sense of humor, but did you ever expect one of them to actually date a comedian? This gives hope to Movie Menu, maybe one day we�ll get to host the Victoria Secret fashion runway show�in our bedrooms�without the lingerie�and pants being optional. Seriously! Jim Carrey is banging Jenny McCarthy. How about some sloppy seconds Mr. Carrey�no? That�s cool�can you at least ask Jenny if she still has the number for Carmen Electra.

 

Panelist: Mike Ventura-When Nature Calls, Danny is Dumb and Dumber, and John- The Cable Guy

Next Movie Menu podcast: 300

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Well it looks like Movie Menu’s reunion won’t be as financially successful as The Police reunion, but as least we still have our dignity! SELL-OUTS! (Dives into dumpster to only fight over a chicken wing with a dog named Ralph, who also has rabies’.) Sting doesn’t know the hard-knock life we live.
So what exactly does the news of The Police have to do with Movie Menu? Absolutely nothing, I just thought it would be cool to mention it. Maybe the same kind of ruckus will be generated with the return of: MOVIE MENU! Entertainment News.
Your silence is enough to show me how ecstatic you with the return of Entertainment News to Movie Menu. Lots to report, so put another rib eye on the grill and LETZ GET COOKIN’ READAS!!

February 16th- 22nd Edition

• The Dark Knight: a lot of news has been circulating involving the Batman Begins sequel, so a quick overview: Christopher Nolan will write/direct again, Christian Bale- Morgan Freeman- Gary Oldman are returning, Katie Holmes quit, Heath Ledger is Joker…and this week’s news: Aaron Eckhart has been hired to play Harvey Dent, better known as the villain Two Face. Looks like Warner Bros. has successfully reprised a cherished franchise, until someone decides to bring back Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze, “Ice…to see you!� (Hollywood Reporter)
• Borat wins again: “Very niceeeee!! How much?� Well Borat, since you’ve won, only the attorney fees now. A Los Angeles judge has thrown out the case of the two fraternity brothers who claimed their participation in the movie was under false pretenses. The fraternity brothers wanted the world to know they were lied to when the producers of the movie got the brothers really wasted, had them sign the release forms, and then promised them the film will be get international distribution. They forgot to add something in their lawsuit though, the movie has ruined their game and they cannot get any pussy now. Good job Borat! 1 lawsuit down…like 4 or 5 more to go! (Yahoo!)
• Wonder Woman: Josh Whedon (Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, Serenity) was recently kicked off the project because Warner Bros. found a better script and are close to finally hiring an actress. Looks like Eva Green, the latest Bond girl, will receive the honors of portraying Wonder Woman. No truth to my rumors that Josh Whedon wanted Sarah Michelle Gellar to play Wonder Woman so she’d have to wear tight little suits and give us some camel-toe action…what? You wouldn’t go to see that? Come on…(The Movie Blog)
• Indiana Jones Jr.: the word involving the script of Indiana Jones IV has an Indy Junior to protect now, and Steven Spielberg has been talking up a storm about actor Shia LaBeaouf. Can’t say I love the idea, but Shia LaBeaouf is a great new talent who will get more recognition with his role in Transformers and his brilliant performance in A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints. As long as Shia remembers Macaulay Culkin was once a rising star. Beware. (Cinema Blend)

RELEASE DATE: April 6th, 2007

DIRECTOR: Mark Palansky

STORY: this is a modern day off-beat fable about a young woman who, having spent her life trapped by a family curse, sets out find love and discovers her true self.

Raising Arizona, Adaptation, Face/Off, Wild At Heart, Leaving Las Vegas…okay, maybe Nicolas Cage isn’t the worst actor to be captured on film. But then he was in Con Air, City of Angels, and The Rock. Okay, sometimes we need to star in 3 bad films to be in one good one. Understood. The Family Man, National Treasure, Lord Of War, World Trade Center, and for god’s sake: THE WICKER MAN! Who Keeps hiring this guy!?!? Well Movie Menu is here to take a tossed salad for the team and watch Nicolas Cage show us once again his love for Elvis…once more, i.e. Lisa Marie Presley, and…jelly beans? Ride on Ghost Rider…(sign)

Panelist: TEAM BLAZIN’ IT-member #1: Mike Chronic, #2: Danny Blunt, #3: John Bong

Next week’s podcast: The Number 23

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RELEASE DATE: November 2007

STORY: Barry B. Benson (Jerry Seinfeld), a bee who has just graduated from college, is disillusioned at his lone career choice: making honey. On a special trip outside the hive, Barry's life is saved by Vanessa (Renee Zellweger), a florist in New York City. As their relationship blossoms, he discovers humans actually eat honey, and subsequently decides to sue us.

DIRECTED BY: Steve Hickner and Simon J. Smith

This is a written segment that will display the new upcoming movies for the week. This coming soon section is for the week of February 16, 2007. The first movie is:

Ghost Rider- Nicholas Cage upset that he couldn’t be Superman agrees to play a comic book hero with flames coming out of his skull. It is actually a better look for him. Rated PG-13 –Movie Menus Pick of the Week-

Breach- Ryan Phillippe plays a man who is promoted to work with a FBI agent who is brilliant, however then realizes he’s hired to spy on the FBI agent who is suspected to be a traitor. Based on a true story. Rated R

Bridge to Terabithia- Two new friends imagine a world called Terbithia, that has a magic kingdom hidden in the deep woods where they have to defend the world they created from a Dark Enemy. Rated PG

Close to Home- An explosion brings two women who dislike each other together in an awkward kind of bond. Rating Pending

Days of Glory- In the war against the Nazi’s in WWII, North African men must also fight the discrimination of their fellow soldiers in the French army. Rated R

Grbavica: The Land of my Dreams- During the 1990s, a single mom is trying to raise her 12 year old daughter in a city where jobs are slim and poverty is the norm. However, a mother and daughter bond is considered priceless. Rating Pending

 

Movie Menu Presents: The 27th Annual Razzie Awards – celebrating those films that were prestigiously bad in 2006. What better way to follow a best-of episode than to review what films would make Helen Keller, The Miracle Worker, realize the ability of sight has some downfalls (jabs ice-pick into eyes). So lean back in your wicker chair, enjoy a Bloody Mary by the pool, and don’t forget little people need love too! Some where in Los Angeles: Pauly Shore, Steve Guttenberg, Dolph Lundgren, and Lou Diamond Phillips are sitting at a Starbucks wondering how their agents couldn’t get them into these movies. “Maybe…you suck?�

Panelist: Mike Stand and Deliver, Danny Shore is Dead, and John’s Short Circuit

Next Week’s episode: Ghost Rider

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Planning the Podcast

You might think that since this is our 27th episode, that the 27th Annual Razzie Awards would be the perfect choice, right? Well that was just a coincidence. We figure the Oscars get enough buzz, lets dedicate a show to something we know very well, worst movies of 2006. Plus we didn’t want to review Norbit, or at least I didn’t.

Day of Podcast

This format would be different because there are five movies nominated for WORST FILM OF 2006. Luckily we had previously seen two of them (Lady in the Water and Wickerman), so we didn’t have to watch them over again. However, that left THREE movies (Bloodrayne, Little Man, and Basic Instinct 2), that we’d have to watch before the show. Luckily they were all on DVD so we ended up renting them on our own and watching them, except Basic Instinct 2, which we saw at John’s place, (very awkward, we explain it during the show). We recorded the show, and afterwards created the intro for the show, which is the norm that we do for every episode. However, we also did the music that day. Since we had limited use of instruments, we took advantage of the recording and used what we had, which wasn’t much.

Post Production

It would be Movie Menu if we hadn’t recorded excess amount of audio footage that would make my editing that much difficult. Thanks guys, jerks. The episode of done fairly early, however of course the minor things needed to be added, like effects, lowering/higher volumes, and cleaning up a few things. Luckily we were able to shoot this episode out since it was the first episode of the newest season. Hope you enjoy!

RELEASE DATE: n/a

STORY: an unstable dad (Michael Douglas)who after getting out of a mental institution tries to convince his daughter (Evan Rachel Wood) that there's Spanish gold buried somewhere under suburbia

DIRECTOR: Mike Cahill

Movie Menu: season 2 � The Sequel to the Original. You�re probably wondering what events had transcended to cause Movie Menu to take a 2 month hiatus�well let me tell you:

� John took a job hosting the Canadian food review show: A Bacon a day � Makes the dentist go Away� A! Eventually the show was cancelled and the network decided to give another hour to Brian Boitano Presents: Magic on the Ice- Magic in your Heart variety show.

� Danny realized his life long dream to swim and train otters to read at the 2nd grade level. Mystified by the beauty of otters in the water, Danny became more interested in developing a relationship with Lucy the otter than helping the other otters. Increased tensions between Danny and other animal teachers have caused him to resign and forfeit his crown of Mr. Universe.

� Michael has been rumored to have chased a butterfly across the United States and saw the fatal death of his butterfly when a kid from New Hampshire shot it down with a sling-shot. After a short stay at the Betty Ford Institute, Michael has regained the ability to eat solid foods again and looks forward to adopting a puppy named Cujo.

Well, now that you know our back story�enjoy season 2! Here�s a collection of our best �material� from season 1 and remember: Rush Limbaugh is not afraid of cougars!

Next Weeks podcast: The Razzie Awards (the worst films of 2006)
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