Mon, 28 August 2006  Ben Affleck stars as a hitman and Jennifer Lopez plays a lesbian. They are teamed together to kidnap a retard and the 3 become a family only Southern Californians could ever accept. You�ve got to feel sorry for the guy who played the retard; he was the only one whose credit to this movie went unnoticed. Come to think about, this guy probably has the best agent in assuring people forget he starred in this movie. �Get me that guy�s agent!� Somewhere in this world some douchbag has placed this movie in a time-capsule for it to be found in the future. We can only prey our historical records are not burnt to the ground for jeopardizing the future of human earth by believing in this movie.
Panelists: Mike �Pony-licious� Stand, Danny �Cool� Munoz, and �Lil� John- Hang
Sound Guy: the Spirit World�led by Abraham Lincoln
It's Free to
Direct download: Movie_Menu_Epsiode_12__Gigli.mp3 Category: Week's Special -- posted at: 5:25 AM |
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Sun, 27 August 2006
Planning the Podcast
For this week, Movie Menu decided to do a DVD. Most would do a newly released DVD, not Movie Menu! We decide on movie’s we would not want to watch, and it was a toss up between Catwoman and Gigli, and we picked Gigli. We figured that Bennfier alone would give us enough material for the show, and trust me, this movie delivered.
Day of Podcast
Since we decided to do a DVD, we felt we deserved a weekend off and chose Thursday as our day to Podcast. With no sound guy, we test the microphones ourselves and had the show on autopilot. Anyone need a job (that doesn’t pay)? After the banter, w tried to think of ways to top the intros of snakes, but we figured this intro fitted this movie perfectly.
Post Production
Since we want our intro to be a success, we divided the editing. Movie Menu: it’s a TEAM EFFORT was the quote heard around the world. Though with Gigli, not much is needed to edit the opinions, however we produce the best stuff for our audience. So hopefully you enjoy.
Category: Production Blog -- posted at: 2:28 PM |
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Fri, 25 August 2006
Only in L.A.!!! Welcome to another edition of Movie Menu: Entertainment News and I have a special story to tell you today. Those of us with a license to kill, i.e. a drivers license, understand the difficulty in traveling across towns, especially when a freeway is required. So I was driving from a job in Long Beach to a job in Fullerton when the inevitable traffic-gridlock grounded my commute. Everyone has their methods to maintain composure during these difficult moments of frustration, and I was using my music as a distraction when I noticed a motorcycle gaining speed in my read-view mirror. There wasn't something right about this and I couldn't distinguish it from afar, so I return to concentrating on my music. Voooommmmmm the bike races pass me when I noticed his helmet. The individual wasn't wearing a helmet required by law, instead he chose to use a large brown paper bag (LoL!) with holes for eye of course, otherwise he would look stupid. Now, I'm no expert in motorcycle safety, but I assure any copycats reading this that a paper bag will not protect your cranium when I swing my door open for you to smack into or a driver decides to sideswipe you.
Come on now, altogether now, "Only in LA!!"
The Movie Menu would like to remind you "a hollow watermelon is better equipped to protect you and your head"... the fruit-scented helmet for the everyday man.
August 17- 25 Edition
- ThunderCats: the cult classic cartoon is getting a makeover, wait until you hear this one. WB animation is looking to adapt the popular series and have Snarf (equipped with a third eye) lead a group of ThunderCats, similar to Teen Titans in fighting crime! and here's the kicker! When they aren't fighting evil, the ThunderCats play together in a rock band.--- (pause) Lmao!! This sounds absolutely awful and represents the sad state children's animation has taken and at the same time I can't help but become a tad interested in this tragic adaptation. I would love to see the band who actually performs these songs live, my hopes is they sport the ThunderCats attire and have a pretty blond play Cheetara me-owwwwwww (Ain't It Cool)
- Trey Parker and Matt Stone: their resume speaks for itself: Cannibal: the musical, Orgasmo, Team America, SouthPark: animated series and movie. So needless to say, when they announced 2 new films: My All-American and Giant Monsters Attack Japan! a dozen of followers had their ears perked up. Set aside the countless reports of people who have worked under them that transcribe the horrible environment these two men have developed, Trey Parker (director) and Matt Stone (producer) have created an excellent example of the auteur model and how great work comes from personal endeavors. These guys know what they want and how they want it done and everything they have done has a stickiness quality to it, not that I like to jerk the sausage to puppets, or kids, or cannibals, that would be (nervous laugh) weird (Movie Web)
- Tom Cruise: the big contract news of the week was Paramount Pictures ending their relationship with the Scientology midget named Tom Cruise. This is one of the first steps taken by a studio accounting an actor/ actresses personal life as the reasoning for refusing to re-negotiate even though Tom Cruise has brought in $100 million + for every Paramount film he starred in. The relationship was worth $10 million a year to Mr. Cruise and there seems to be little desire from other studios to offer this kind of money to a lunatic. That is one expensive relationship; I mean I've heard of gold diggers but this outrageous! Do you think Tom Cruise puts out for $10 million? How would one pleasure Paramount Pictures? I would say to kiss it on the lips and slowly make your way down, but ahhha!.what if "it" had no lips? I hear Pauly Shore is available Paramount, and he's available for a cheap score worth $10. (Cinematical)
- Diary of the Dead: George A. Romero defies of life and continues in his ever long quest to find the Holy Grail. This new film will continue the series and add in elements of Blair Witch. The film will follow a group of college students filming a horror movie who stumble upon a real life zombie uprising. Now that's what I call a documentary. If I were those students, I've got myself a blockbuster and it would be days before I share expensive liquor and snack on extinct animals for an appetizer. Assuming I survive of course, which probably wouldn't be the case because I run like a retarded little girl. "Who's your casting director? Those zombies are so real?" Come to think about it, this doesn't sound like a horror film to me, it sounds like a Field of Dreams movie, "if you find them, they will come." (Cinema Fusion)
Category: Random -- posted at: 6:07 PM |
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Thu, 24 August 2006
Planning the Podcast
Snakes on a Plane was an easy choice when deciding what movie to podcast next. With Samuel L. Jackson starring in this anticipated action “B” film, Movie Menu knew we had to be there opening night. Knowing that this film shouldn’t be taken seriously, we went in expecting it to be god awful. However, the audience alone made the theatre experience that much more fun.
Day of Podcast
With Z unavailable this week, (suffered a snake bite in his private flower) the Dan and Mike show was back in business. Forcing John to do sound, it was up to Dan and Mike to make a new twist on the intro that would show off our talent, or lack thereof. Though we did record a lot of material, we all agreed it would be a success.
Post-Production
With two people doing the major editing, this show was expected to be a hard one to finish. Our own little preview of Snakes on a Plane: The Musical was going to bring a funnier twist on an awesomely bad film. However, our hard work paid off and we were able to finish this podcast for your listening pleasure. Enjoy , MothaFuckers!
Category: Production Blog -- posted at: 5:10 AM |
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Mon, 21 August 2006  I-Am-SICK-and-TIRED-of-these-motha-F*&kin'-podcasters!!-on-this-motha-F^#kin'-website!!!! What better way to end the season of summer films than having Snakes on a Plane cap our summer review. Summer films are released with a high emphasis on entertainment, and the most entertaining movie of the season is upon us: SNAKES ON A PLANE. The only thing that could have made this film better would have been cameos from the following people: Steve Irwin, Natalie Portman, everyone who has ever posed for Playboy , or Chuck Norris. We're not exactly the wilderness type, but we understand it is not normal to be boarding a flight with snakes. We just want the ladies to know, if you ever need someone to suck venom out of any part of your body...call Poison Control- F%^K that shit!
Panelist: Danny Munoz & Mike Stand
Sound guy: John Hang
It's Free to
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Thu, 17 August 2006
Sorry about last weeks edition, but there was some confusion on who was to upload it due to the "reconstruction" of my computer. But everything is good and we're back to our scheduled madness (insert dancing clowns), so we'll basically designate this week as the 5th edition of Movie Menu: Entertainment News and put ourselves in denial that we missed a week. So now that I am back at my desk, I can't give the random observations of using a public computer anymore, but I can finally continue my business as a Palm Reader from the comfort of my own home. I would like to start an internet Palm Reading: so one would scan their hand and send it to me via e-mail and for a fee I will read them what is on my fortune cookie. I think this business would work, only if the Chinese restaurant we are housed by didn't supply the worst fortune cookies on the face of the planet. My fortune one day was "you would make a great lawyer"...? That's not a freaking fortune! As an Aquarius, I am appalled by the false pretenses this fortune has given me! I bet you my horoscope didn't anticipate this coming, which reminds of a whole separate rant, but back to the issue on hand: ENTERTAINMENT NEWS!! (Bears wearing fez's driving in go-karts).
August 11- 16 Edition
- The Avengers: so a professor once told me, you can graph the trend of movies by plotting the transaction through trade magazines. So we are witnessing a strong trend in comic book movies that will saturating our theaters for the next 5 years as Captain America, Hulk, Nick Fury, Thor, and Iron Man team up in a live-action rendition of the comic. Zak Penn, currently putting the final touches on The Incredible Hulk movie is inked to write The Avengers script. Now comic book geeks are experiencing a Renaissance by enjoying their weekends outside of their parent's home and in public arenas. This definitely spells the end of civilization as lonely housewives around the world will perish as their socially-inept son/daughter has a reason to go out. (Cinema Fusion)
- Kevin Smith: so the man behind Chasing Amy, Mallrats, Jay and Silent Bob, Jersey Girl, and Clerks was planning something innovative in hopes saving his career. Kevin Smith was planning to release a MP3 audio commentary for his newest release Clerks 2, which one could play on their iPod-etc. while watching the movie in theaters. Well the theaters made sure to squash the idea in fear of ruining the theater experience for those who have to hear some jerk-off laugh obnoxiously during a quiet moment in the film. I thought theater chains would support the idea of encouraging people to come back to the theater so they could watch the movie again with commentary, but I think they are satisfied with the $10 admission and $8 stale popcorn to get you coming back. (Movie Blog)
- Katrina Documentary: director Spike Lee, the Marvin Von Peebles of our generation, is preparing for the release of his highly touted documentary on our government committing "a criminal ac" in New Orleans. Titled When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts the film is expected to premiere Wednesday night in front of 12,000 in New Orleans and will be released in a 2 part series on HBO, airing Monday and Tuesday nights. Someone of Spike Lee's status could only capture this much funding and attention for the documentary, so many thanks from everyone goes to Spike Lee in continuing his crusade to help those who need it (Yahoo)
- Are We There Yet 2: Ice Cube, known to his family as O'Shea Jackson, is reprising his role in the "hit" film which is titled Are we Done Yet? No, I'm serious! Not only are they making a sequel to this but the film is titled Are We Done Yet? I'm sure many people have this inquiry while watching this film and many others working on this film will inquire the same title while on set. Does Ice Cube still have street cred for doing a film like this? I still wouldn't mess with a guy like Cube, which makes you wonder if other rappers will take the same route of family entertainment. RV 2- starring Wu Tang Clan; 3 Brotha's and a Baby- Master P, Snoop Dogg, and Dr. Dre attempt to raise a child; Pass The Grits- Lil' Jon is adapted into a Slave-owning family and comedy ensues. Leave comments on your own Rapper-Family feature (Movie Web)
- Ace Ventura 3: Everyone's favorite pet detective and animal activist is having another go at the movie viewing audience. Can't wait to see Jim Carrey and... errrrrrr!!! No Carrey- no film right? Well according to Morgan Creek Productions- no problem! They will continue on the script for the film knowing it could be impossible to convince Jim Carrey to reprise his role, so pulling a Dumb and Dumberer/ Son of the Mask and using the offspring of Jim Carrey's character to star in the new movie. We saw how success Dumb and Dumberer and the Son of the Mask was, so what could possibly go wrong??? Right now Jim Carrey is laughing it up at this idea in his bath-tub full of caviar and Crystal, with his girlfriend serving him strawberries... wait. You say whaaa??? Jim Carrey is dating Jenny McCarthy? Okay, that mean needs to be taken down a peg (Hollywood Reporter)
Category: Random -- posted at: 4:41 AM |
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Mon, 14 August 2006  With the summer coming to a crawl, the studios are churning out their �we have so much money that we can make this kind of crap.� So for this mundane week we decided to review some of the newest releases of this week and pack into a nice little present you can carry in your pants. So STEP UP and leave some comments and allow us to dance into your hearts.
Panelists: Mike Stand, Danny Munoz, and John Hang
Sound guy: Z Aguirre
It's Free to
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Mon, 14 August 2006 
Zoom, Pulse, and World Trade Center
Planning the Podcast
So this week we couldn’t agree on what movie to podcast, so we decided to review them all. This week choices were the tear jerking World Trade Center which paid homage to the events of September 11th, starring Nicholas Cage and Michael Pena. Zoom, this weeks family film also came out and decided that this one was worth mentioning because it starred Tim Allen, who’s still making films, some how. Also starring Courtney Cox, (life after friends), and Chevy Chase, (life after death). And the Japanese horror turned American, Pulse, starring Kristen Bell and Christina Milian. So it was going to be an interesting show, since we didn’t see each movie together. Only one of us saw one of the three movies so we had to be creative in meshing these three bad movies into ONE.
Day of Podcast
We had to come up with an interesting intro and format since we all saw different movies. We went back to Movie Menu since everyone was back and the Dan and Mike show didn’t get the respect it deserved! Or did it? After a few debates, the intro was down, and we were ready to create a different kind of show. With Z back in the sound chair, John was promoted back to Host (though we tried to get him fired, anyone need a job?) we were able to have a completed show with everyone in tact.
Post Production
We took one take, (thank God), so editing would be easier. With a new way of logging, (making Z the sound guy actually does some work), made things a bit easier to capture what was memorable and what wasn’t. After a few snips and cuts, the show is ready to be released. Though three out of the four member’s computers are without internet all of a sudden, this show is going to be difficult to post. So wish us luck, we’re going to need it. Category: Production Blog -- posted at: 4:24 AM |
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Mon, 7 August 2006  6 women venture into a cave and find they have entered into unchartered territory, entrapped in a cave with blood sucking predators. Sounds like the plot to a dirty porno to me (cat claws), and many lesbian inneundos ensue. Not too many guys in this feature and many attractive kitties making their film debut. I don't know if it was the experience or it was the time of the month but there was a whole lot of blood in this movie! Looks like someone should consider a switch from the tampon to the pad....and I have just alienated our entire female fanbase. Anyways, enjoy this weeks podcast and our first review of a horror film.
Panelist: Mike Stand & Danny Munoz
Sound Guy: John Hang
It's Free to
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Sun, 6 August 2006 
Planning the Podcast
The movie chosen for this week was The Descent. We felt like shitting our pants, so this movie was just right. John suggested reviewing a horror film, a tough genre to review; only because the acting is typically awful, effects are lame, dialogue is cheesy, and most are not scary. However this one looked promising. A combination of suspense, horror, and gore is exactly what Movie Menu needed.
Day of Podcast
With Z, our resident sound guy unable to participate in this weeks special, John stepped up as sound guy (actually, we demoted him) and Mike stepped in as the new host. This slightly altered show would be titled: The Dan and Mike Show. A slightly different format, the bar was set for a new successful show…or at least we hoped.
Post Production
This show had to have been our most difficult show to edit. First time we actually recorded two takes, one being 13 minutes, second being 21 minutes. The decision was made that both tracks were worth keeping. With clever editing, we managed to make sense of the chaos. With a new theme song, we expect The Descent podcast to be a huge hit or a miserably failed endeavor. YOU DECIDE!
Category: Production Blog -- posted at: 4:44 AM |
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Sat, 5 August 2006 
Reviewed by Danny Munoz
If you ever felt like decapitating your boss, peeing over the dead corpse, and then burning the remains so no one will ever know, then this movie is for you! This movie adaptation from the novel with the same title was written by Lauren Weisberger, (wouldn't want to be her boss... or would I?) Though Lauren did write the novel, Anne Brosh McKenna wrote the screenplay that gave this movie life.
Anne Hathaway, Meryl Streep, and Stanley Tucci round up the cast that made this movie actually enjoyable. So for you readers who have not seen the movie, Anne Hathaway plays Andrea (Andy) Sachs, who gets a job at RUNWAY magazine, the top magazine in fashion, as Miranda Priestly's assistant, played by Meryl Streep, which is a job that a thousand girls would die to have. Though, many see Andy as an unlikely candidate for the job, Miranda ignores her own better judgment and hires, "the fat girl." Andy takes the job because working a year under Miranda Priestly will line you a job at any written media that you will ever want to work for.
Though the job that would seem to be a stepping stone for your future, isn't all that's cracked out to be, what should one do? Well no sense in crying, if you can't beat them, then join them. So Andy tries her best to impress her boss, but forgets about her boyfriend and friends, the people that really matter to her. So Andy must juggle her future career with her morals and relationships with friends.
Though this movie might sound dramatic, it is pretty amusing. Meryl Streep plays a convincing bitch who is feared by everyone who works under her. Stanely Tucci character, Nigel, is a sort of a Fairy Godmother in the sense he transforms Andy from the fat girl into a fashionable hottie. Will Andy forget who she is and become a stuck up bitch like her boss? I'd recommend this movie for people to watch so they can find out the outcome. Enjoy it and laugh as loud as you want, because no sense if hiding that fact that you ARE going to like it. Category: Random -- posted at: 10:02 PM |
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Fri, 4 August 2006 
Movie Menu: Entertainment News- 4th edition: guess what today is? It’s National Ice Cream Sandwich Day!! Yeeeeaaaa!!! and if you are reading this on Thursday its National Watermelon Day. The internet is a beautiful place to find obscure and irrelevant facts, like this website (nervous laughter) now that summer is winding down, the news is small and obscure but there are still some tiny tidbits circulating. What’s more important is how you plan to celebrate NATIONAL WAFFLE DAY this Saturday and NATIONAL ROOT BEER FLOAT DAY this Sunday. What kind of legal procedures would one have to go through to accomplish a NATIONAL holiday? I say we all lobby for a “National Deep-Fried Day”, there is a restaurant in England that deep-fries candy bars as a dessert, yummers! I think we can celebrate this holiday in the states by congesting our ovaries and intestines with fatty goodness. I wonder how a deep-fried gummy bear would taste like. Anyone care to share a platter of deep-fried vegetables? Little Jimmy will never look at broccoli the same and princess Deborah will be begging for a second serving of deep-fried cabbage deliciousness. Has anyone seen that episode of Arrested Development when Tobias buys a deep-fryer? Ooooo the possibilities….BAM! Entertainment News
-john
July 25- August 3 Edition
- Mel Gibson: looks like someone got a bit tipsy on Jesus Juice and was BUSTED!!! You think the Jews are having a fun time with this? I bet you it was a Jewish cop who stopped Mel Gibson for making Passion of the Christ and proceeded to show what “Jews are really made of” (grabs night stick). I love that mugshot of Gibson too, it still doesn’t match the Nick Nolte mugshot but I see a trend of glamorized celebrity mugshots if this public infatuation continues. Can you imagine if Halle Berry was arrested and she was wearing the Catwoman Attire? I would pay good money to get a mugshot of Quentin Tarantino with a black eye and swollen face, that’s money baby (Yahoo)
- Die Hard 4: a Bruce Willis mugshot with an Elvis toupee? LoL, okay I’ll stop. The 4th installment titled Live Free or Die Hard (u f%^king serious?) has now announced a June 29th, 2007 release date. Les Wiseman (Underworld 1 & 2) is directing and the story consists of “a techno-terrorist attempting to shut down the nation’s computers on the Fourth of July.” No! No! Nooooooo!!!!!!!!! What would the world be without Movie Menu!?!?! I rather…die hard (Cinema Fusion)
- Dallas: the popular primetime soap drama from the 1970s-1980s received some bad news when Jennifer Lopez gave the finger to the film and dropped out. Apparently the story was not enough about J-Lo even though they changed the popular slogan “who shot J R?” to a “who shot J L?” it has been rumored J-Lo must return to her block because some crack dealers are selling high school photos of her making out with the captain of the chess team. (Dark Horizons )
- Pee-Wee’s Playhouse: Paul Reuben has confirmed he is working on 2 MOVIES for Pee-Wee. One will be an adaptation of the television series, kid version, and another movie shall be titled The Pee-Wee Herman Show which will be the more adult version the television series was based on. You know as soon as you read that you were wondering “how adult” this movie is going to be. We’re not going to watch Pee-Wee masturbate and sniff crack off a hookers ass are we? Maybe he’ll give friends in the Playhouse something to REALLY scream about “and the secret word of the day is: Dirty Sanchez’. (Cinema Fusion)
- Hotel Transylvania: Mummy, Dracula, Werewolf, and Frankenstein conjugate at a hotel to discuss if technology has made them irrelevant. This CGI film (the irony of this story addressing technology using CGI software) is slated as a 2009 release from Sony Pictures. I would rather see these guys in a “Real World”-esque movie where Werewolf complains the Mummy is using up all the toilet paper, Frankenstein learns Dracula and Lady Frankenstein spent the night in his coffin, maybe Werewolf is confronted as having anger management issues so the house confront him, and they all get drunk everyday cause their lives suck like the people on the “Real World”. (Film Stew)
- The Darjeeling Limited: get this movie on your radar because it has the potential to bring lots of money to “New Hollywood”. I’m not a fan of the fraternity comedies (Old School, 40 Year old Virgin, Wedding Crashers, Anchorman, etc.) but a HUGE fan of smart-dry-playful comedies and this movie has combined the best people of this posse. Wes Anderson (Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, Royal Tenenbaums, Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou) is working with Roman Coppola (CQ), Jason Schwartzman (Rushmore, I Heart Huckabees, Shopgirl, etc.) and Owen Wilson (Bottle Rocket, Life Aquatic) on this script about 3 brothers who journey through Africa. I don’t know if this film will bring all these people into the mainstream and break the bank, but it sure smells like it. (Production Weekly)
Category: Random -- posted at: 7:46 AM |
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Wed, 2 August 2006
Planning the Podcast
So this week we planned on doing a review on a DVD instead of a theatrical release. What could go wrong we thought? Then we realized our only OPTION was From Justin to Kelly and we regretted ever mentioning DVD review. Though finally we got a break and didn't have to pinch our pennies to review a movie in the theaters, though the drawback being the movie is From Justin To Kelly. So finally after long deliberation, we sat down and watched the movie that we would have no problem coming up with material. Though this movie had a reputation of SUCKING, we didn't want other sources to influence on what we thought, though it was very VERY hard.
Day of Podcast
So judgment day came and we had to podcast the deliciously unique movie, From Justin To Kelly. We were hoping for the best, because Kelly's career has grown, but then Justin is holding Kelly back, and this movie was clearly the proof of that. We have to pick one tagline out of a possible 5 or 6 to make the cut for the show and design a possible intro for the show. Though as stated in earlier production notes, the show is done on one take, so we have to make sure certain topics are covered, which is hard when three opinionated guys that want to talk about nonsense, but we somehow we do. Though the movie itself was a mess, the podcast itself came across as going well.
Post Production
With clever editing, or maybe not so clever editing, special effects and sounds are added to dress up the podcast and words are twisted to make us sound like we know what we are talking about. A few hours or days after we finished recording, we have a final product. Hopefully our message got across, because clearly the message of From Justin to Kelly got lost in the mail. Category: Production Blog -- posted at: 3:28 AM |
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Mon, 31 July 2006  2005 Razzie Award winner for The Worst musical in the past 25 years, From Justin to Kelly was suppose to incorporate future winners/contestants into feature films, instead American Idol participants are now relegated to touring your local Plaza parking lots and trailor parks across the country. You think the star of this film Justin Guarini watches this movie on a loop? We know Kelly Clarkson has survived the wreckage, but the media has forgotten the casualities this film has caused! Well the Movie Menu has seen too many disasters in our lives to let THE MAN hold us down!!! Soo let me see ya fist in tha air brothas and sistas!!! Lets stand united in support of this film!
....don't leave me....I'm sooo cold...sweeeeeeet! a muffin
(silence) THIS HAS BEEN A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY PODCAST STATION. WE ASK YOU TO EVACUATE YOUR COMPUTERS AND EXIT ROOM LEFT. WOMEN AND CHILDREN LAST PLEASE.
Panelist: Mike Stand, Danny Munoz, John Hang.
Sound Guy: Alexander Z
It's Free to
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