ENTERTAINMENT NEWS

Only in L.A.!!! Welcome to another edition of Movie Menu: Entertainment News and I have a special story to tell you today. Those of us with a license to kill, i.e. a drivers license, understand the difficulty in traveling across towns, especially when a freeway is required. So I was driving from a job in Long Beach to a job in Fullerton when the inevitable traffic-gridlock grounded my commute. Everyone has their methods to maintain composure during these difficult moments of frustration, and I was using my music as a distraction when I noticed a motorcycle gaining speed in my read-view mirror. There wasn't something right about this and I couldn't distinguish it from afar, so I return to concentrating on my music. Voooommmmmm the bike races pass me when I noticed his helmet. The individual wasn't wearing a helmet required by law, instead he chose to use a large brown paper bag (LoL!) with holes for eye of course, otherwise he would look stupid. Now, I'm no expert in motorcycle safety, but I assure any copycats reading this that a paper bag will not protect your cranium when I swing my door open for you to smack into or a driver decides to sideswipe you.

Come on now, altogether now, "Only in LA!!"

The Movie Menu would like to remind you "a hollow watermelon is better equipped to protect you and your head"... the fruit-scented helmet for the everyday man.

August 17- 25 Edition

• ThunderCats: the cult classic cartoon is getting a makeover, wait until you hear this one. WB animation is looking to adapt the popular series and have Snarf (equipped with a third eye) lead a group of ThunderCats, similar to Teen Titans in fighting crime! and here's the kicker! When they aren't fighting evil, the ThunderCats play together in a rock band.--- (pause) Lmao!! This sounds absolutely awful and represents the sad state children's animation has taken and at the same time I can't help but become a tad interested in this tragic adaptation. I would love to see the band who actually performs these songs live, my hopes is they sport the ThunderCats attire and have a pretty blond play Cheetara me-owwwwwww  (Ain't It Cool)
• Trey Parker and Matt Stone: their resume speaks for itself: Cannibal: the musical, Orgasmo, Team America, SouthPark: animated series and movie. So needless to say, when they announced 2 new films: My All-American and Giant Monsters Attack Japan! a dozen of followers had their ears perked up. Set aside the countless reports of people who have worked under them that transcribe the horrible environment these two men have developed, Trey Parker (director) and Matt Stone (producer) have created an excellent example of the auteur model and how great work comes from personal endeavors. These guys know what they want and how they want it done and everything they have done has a stickiness quality to it, not that I like to jerk the sausage to puppets, or kids, or cannibals, that would be (nervous laugh) weird  (Movie Web)
• Tom Cruise: the big contract news of the week was Paramount Pictures ending their relationship with the Scientology midget named Tom Cruise. This is one of the first steps taken by a studio accounting an actor/ actresses personal life as the reasoning for refusing to re-negotiate even though Tom Cruise has brought in $100 million + for every Paramount film he starred in. The relationship was worth $10 million a year to Mr. Cruise and there seems to be little desire from other studios to offer this kind of money to a lunatic. That is one expensive relationship; I mean I've heard of gold diggers but this outrageous! Do you think Tom Cruise puts out for $10 million? How would one pleasure Paramount Pictures? I would say to kiss it on the lips and slowly make your way down, but ahhha!.what if "it" had no lips? I hear Pauly Shore is available Paramount, and he's available for a cheap score worth $10.  (Cinematical)
• Diary of the Dead: George A. Romero defies of life and continues in his ever long quest to find the Holy Grail. This new film will continue the series and add in elements of Blair Witch. The film will follow a group of college students filming a horror movie who stumble upon a real life zombie uprising. Now that's what I call a documentary. If I were those students, I've got myself a blockbuster and it would be days before I share expensive liquor and snack on extinct animals for an appetizer. Assuming I survive of course, which probably wouldn't be the case because I run like a retarded little girl. "Who's your casting director? Those zombies are so real?" Come to think about it, this doesn't sound like a horror film to me, it sounds like a Field of Dreams movie, "if you find them, they will come." (Cinema Fusion)