Movie Menu: Entertainment News- 4th edition: guess what today is? It’s National Ice Cream Sandwich Day!! Yeeeeaaaa!!! and if you are reading this on Thursday its National Watermelon Day. The internet is a beautiful place to find obscure and irrelevant facts, like this website (nervous laughter) now that summer is winding down, the news is small and obscure but there are still some tiny tidbits circulating. What’s more important is how you plan to celebrate NATIONAL WAFFLE DAY this Saturday and NATIONAL ROOT BEER FLOAT DAY this Sunday. What kind of legal procedures would one have to go through to accomplish a NATIONAL holiday? I say we all lobby for a “National Deep-Fried Day”, there is a restaurant in England that deep-fries candy bars as a dessert, yummers! I think we can celebrate this holiday in the states by congesting our ovaries and intestines with fatty goodness. I wonder how a deep-fried gummy bear would taste like. Anyone care to share a platter of deep-fried vegetables? Little Jimmy will never look at broccoli the same and princess Deborah will be begging for a second serving of deep-fried cabbage deliciousness. Has anyone seen that episode of Arrested Development when Tobias buys a deep-fryer? Ooooo the possibilities….BAM! Entertainment News
-john
July 25- August 3 Edition
- Mel Gibson: looks like someone got a bit tipsy on Jesus Juice and was BUSTED!!! You think the Jews are having a fun time with this? I bet you it was a Jewish cop who stopped Mel Gibson for making Passion of the Christ and proceeded to show what “Jews are really made of” (grabs night stick). I love that mugshot of Gibson too, it still doesn’t match the Nick Nolte mugshot but I see a trend of glamorized celebrity mugshots if this public infatuation continues. Can you imagine if Halle Berry was arrested and she was wearing the Catwoman Attire? I would pay good money to get a mugshot of Quentin Tarantino with a black eye and swollen face, that’s money baby (Yahoo)
- Die Hard 4: a Bruce Willis mugshot with an Elvis toupee? LoL, okay I’ll stop. The 4th installment titled Live Free or Die Hard (u f%^king serious?) has now announced a June 29th, 2007 release date. Les Wiseman (Underworld 1 & 2) is directing and the story consists of “a techno-terrorist attempting to shut down the nation’s computers on the Fourth of July.” No! No! Nooooooo!!!!!!!!! What would the world be without Movie Menu!?!?! I rather…die hard (Cinema Fusion)
- Dallas: the popular primetime soap drama from the 1970s-1980s received some bad news when Jennifer Lopez gave the finger to the film and dropped out. Apparently the story was not enough about J-Lo even though they changed the popular slogan “who shot J R?” to a “who shot J L?” it has been rumored J-Lo must return to her block because some crack dealers are selling high school photos of her making out with the captain of the chess team. (Dark Horizons )
- Pee-Wee’s Playhouse: Paul Reuben has confirmed he is working on 2 MOVIES for Pee-Wee. One will be an adaptation of the television series, kid version, and another movie shall be titled The Pee-Wee Herman Show which will be the more adult version the television series was based on. You know as soon as you read that you were wondering “how adult” this movie is going to be. We’re not going to watch Pee-Wee masturbate and sniff crack off a hookers ass are we? Maybe he’ll give friends in the Playhouse something to REALLY scream about “and the secret word of the day is: Dirty Sanchez’. (Cinema Fusion)
- Hotel Transylvania: Mummy, Dracula, Werewolf, and Frankenstein conjugate at a hotel to discuss if technology has made them irrelevant. This CGI film (the irony of this story addressing technology using CGI software) is slated as a 2009 release from Sony Pictures. I would rather see these guys in a “Real World”-esque movie where Werewolf complains the Mummy is using up all the toilet paper, Frankenstein learns Dracula and Lady Frankenstein spent the night in his coffin, maybe Werewolf is confronted as having anger management issues so the house confront him, and they all get drunk everyday cause their lives suck like the people on the “Real World”. (Film Stew)
- The Darjeeling Limited: get this movie on your radar because it has the potential to bring lots of money to “New Hollywood”. I’m not a fan of the fraternity comedies (Old School, 40 Year old Virgin, Wedding Crashers, Anchorman, etc.) but a HUGE fan of smart-dry-playful comedies and this movie has combined the best people of this posse. Wes Anderson (Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, Royal Tenenbaums, Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou) is working with Roman Coppola (CQ), Jason Schwartzman (Rushmore, I Heart Huckabees, Shopgirl, etc.) and Owen Wilson (Bottle Rocket, Life Aquatic) on this script about 3 brothers who journey through Africa. I don’t know if this film will bring all these people into the mainstream and break the bank, but it sure smells like it. (Production Weekly)
